1. “We want to thank the president for bringing Facebook to Nigeria.” – Information Minister, Labaran Maku.
2. “You press men, you always say there are no minerals in Kano. We have Coca-Cola, Fanta, Mirinda and the newly invented Sprite.” – Barkin Zuwo
3. “Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram and invest in Nigeria.” – GEJ
4. “I will water your school and fire your school.” – Orji Uzoh Kalu Follow Us
5. “Nigerians, don’t panic. Terrorist attack is everywhere … maybe it is our turn.” – GEJ
6. “I will rather kill myself than commit suicide.” – Dame Patience Jonathan
7. “I founded this school for the masses and the school fees is 850,000 naira.” – Atiku Abubakar
8. “Until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria.” – Umaru Dikko
9. “Telephone is not meant for the poor. ” – David Mark
10. “The worth of a child born and bred in Nigeria cannot be compared to that in the United States.” – Yakubu Gowon
11. “School is not meant for the poor, only for the rich.” – Ikedi Ohakim
12. “At 50, Britain is still battling with King Arthur and the knights of the round table so Nigeria is not doing too badly.” – Diezeani Allison- Madueke
13. “Even Jesus Christ cannot conduct a free and fair election in Nigeria.” – Olusegun Obasanjo
14. “The corp members where destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny.” – Mallam Isa
Yaguda, Governor, Bauchi State
15. “On behalf of 20 million naira, I’ll donate my family” – Dame Patience Jonathan
16. “We, the PDP did not win this election, I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called the result.” – Chris Uba
17. “I want to commend the doctors and nurses for responding to treatment.” – Dame Patience Jonathan
18. “I can see camera people. Are they going to televise us alive?” – Dame Patience Jonathan Oya which one funny pass?
